I Forgive You

"For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins" (Colossians 1:13-14; italics mine).

John Plummer had seen the picture for years. It is a picture with which most of us are familiar. The picture showed a young girl running from an attack during the Vietnam War. For years John had tried to put the picture out of his mind, but it did not work. For most, this picture is used to argue the cruelty of war and the injustice war brings upon the innocent. However, the picture had a greater meaning for John.

You see John was responsible for carrying out those attacks on that little girl's village in 1972. He had received word that the village was clear and that there were no civilians in the area. What he, and apparently others did not know was that this girl's family was hiding in the exact same area John was planning to attack.

As time passed, John learned that this girl was still alive and living in Toronto, Canada. John also discovered that she would be speaking at the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial in Washington, D.C. So he went. When he arrived he sent word to her that he was there. Then he waited. To say he anxiously waited would be an understatement. He little knew what to expect. What happened next probably stunned him.

The now 33-year-old woman embraced John Plummer and repeated these words: "I forgive." Later John came to find out that this woman had placed her faith in Jesus Christ in 1982.

Think about it! To the man who had brought such pain and destruction into her life, this woman embraced John Plummer and said, "I forgive." She didn't say "I'm still trying to forgive." Nor did she say, "I cannot ever forgive what you've done." And while the act carried out, though unintentional, has gripped the hearts of individuals for years now, may we not let our hearts be so cold and callous that we miss an even greater story.

God created. Man sinned. God came to Adam and Eve in the Garden. Sin continued. But God had a plan from before the creation of the world. Jesus Christ was sent. He wasn't just a good man. He wasn't just a good speaker. He wasn't just some miracle worker. He was God's Son. God's only Son. God's Son who had been sent to...die!

What we see at the cross is not a man living out some psychotic episode. We don't see a man at the end of a fatalistic quest. We don't even see a good man come to ruin at the hands of tragic circumstances. What we see is a perfect man. A man suffering in our place. And when He had suffered His last, when He had made payment for every sin, when He was finished with His work of atonement, He died....just for me.

But when He rose again on the third day, you don't see Him say, "You owe me and you will never be able to pay." We don't see Him shaking His finger in our face and say, "I'm trying hard to forgive but I'm not sure I can." With arms opened wide for a mighty embrace (like the ones we give our children), Jesus Christ stands with arms opened wide to embrace us. They were opened while He died...there still open now that He's alive.

I'm grateful that every day I can know the embrace of God and hear His words, "I forgive." I'm not talking about getting "re-saved." I'm talking about Jesus who loves me and died for me who still forgives me day by day. He doesn't pack up camp and move out just because I move into sin. Certainly I don't want to sin, but I am grateful for His embrace.

Someone reading this blog right now may be overdue for that embrace. You may not be a believer in Jesus Christ. But you know what it means to have guilt and regret. Maybe you've lived a life of a drunk, sexual promiscuity, deceit and lying or violent anger. Oh to know that there is an embrace where the God of heaven whispers your name in your ear and says, "You're forgiven."

Still others are believers who struggle with their abuse of the costly grace Jesus Christ offers to each of us. Why would He forgive what you have done as His child? Because you are His child! In our house, I am committed to telling my children every day, multiple times a day, "I love you!" One day Isaac said (with a grin), "I don't love you anymore." Of course I first tickled his armpit until he recanted and stated his undying love for his wonderful father. (Just kidding. I tickled him until he said, "Stop daddy! I love you.") You can guess this has become somewhat of a game for both Isaac and Ethan. So I play along for a few times. After a few times, when they make their statement again I say to them, "Whether you love me or not, I'll always love you." And why do I do that? They are my children.

Jesus died for me. God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ love me. I am part of their family and I have been forgiven. Nothing will ever squelch that love. Every day I need His forgiveness for the fellowship I have with Him to be restored. It has nothing to do with my salvation, but everything to do with the health of my relationship with Him.

I've desperately needed that forgiveness and love lately. I may not be in any more need of it this week as opposed to other weeks. But my awareness of the need has been greater. I've struggled with anger in the last week. There have been times I do believe I had righteous anger. Yet I know without a doubt I have been angry this past week where righteousness would be the last characteristic to define it. What has been so encouraging is to be able to share that anger openly with my Dad who lives in heaven and then to hear in my heart Him say, "You're forgiven."

This week has definitely had its ups and downs. There have been positives and negatives; days of rejoicing and days of weeping. The day after my last blog (Behind the Smile) was a tough day. The fevers have once again been fairly common with Micah. Beyond this, his white blood cell count has dropped. One particular type of white blood cell that helps to fight infection went from 400 on Tuesday to zero the past two days. It went to one today. The immediate concern is whether the bone marrow is producing as it should or if the PTLD has gotten into his bone marrow. There is the possibility, and this is what we hope to be the case, that two of the medicines he is currently receiving have caused the drop. Regardless, the situation is not good in the immediate since it leaves him vulnerable to infection, bacteria, and such that he would be unable to fight. There are two medicines that may be to blame and one has been discontinued. If things do not change, they will discontinue the other and substitute with some other medicine.

There is praise for today. It seems that so much reporting about our time has been negative. But the last blood test in which they checked for the presence of the Epstein Barr Virus showed that it was undetected. We know that EBV stays in the body. However, at this time the EBV is down and undetectable. While we continue to watch the B Cells to insure they are under control and controlled as they need to be, we praise the Lord for His work in bringing the virus under control.

Back to the white blood cell count, however, if there is no improvement on Monday (which the count of that particular white blood cell should be at 1000), a bone marrow test will be done on Tuesday of next week.

Earlier this week there was talk and rumor of going home. But it looks like we'll start our fifth week here. Micah's birthday is next Thursday and I was hoping for everyone's benefit that he'd be home. Even so, we are grateful to the Lord for the care we can receive, for sustaining Micah's life throughout this week and for giving us the strength, peace and comfort we need to persevere. Thank you for praying!