Behind that Smile

"When I smiled at them, they scarcely believed it; the light of my face was precious to them" (Job 29:24).

The Mona Lisa has generated a lot of conversation over the years. The classic expression on her face has caused art lovers and historians alike to share their particular insights (opinions that is) about the meaning behind it. To most, there is a lot of meaning behind that smile. Our expressions convey so much. Sometimes they accurately convey our attitude, feelings or positions...and sometimes not so much!

My greatest joy today was seeing all my children smile. That, in turn, places a smile upon my lovely wife's face (not that she doesn't smile any other time). I saw smiles light up the face of Isaac and Ethan as we rode to the hospital, talked about the day and spent time together. When I arrived at Duke, it wasn't long before I saw a smile light up the face of Micah. I could scarcely believe it when I say him smile and look so happy to be alive.

We're in our fourth week of this hospital stay. Seeing him smile is a great turn-around from where we started back at the end of November and then again the beginning of January. Micah has certainly endured the treatments well and we continue to hope the Lord touches his body to heal him of the current issues.

Behind that smile tonight appeared a little boy who seems to be making some small steps toward feeling better. I certainly hope we go home soon so he, and we, can celebrate his first birthday at home. Sarah and I continue to pray and wait and thank you for your prayers.

And no in what is a little different about my updates, I want to speak about the two individuals who sometimes get overlooked but who have been impacted in some ways as much as Micah. Isaac and Ethan rarely get any space on this blog devoted to them, except an honorable mention when I speak about how much I love my family, my children and how great a blessing they are to my life. But they are all changing and growing so fast. This blog is often read by individuals who do not get the privilege of seeing our children and the growth that is occurring in all areas of their lives.

Isaac and Ethan have both pretty much potty-trained themselves. Sarah and I are so thrilled about the "big boy underwear" in our house and the absence of diapers. While I don't miss the diapers, the fact that they have outgrown them saddens me. It is a mark that my boys are growing up and often times fast than I would like.

They have both been indoctrinated by their mom about Mexican food. Anyone who knows Sarah well will attest to the fact that Mexican food and fountain Diet Cokes top her list. This has been instilled in Isaac and Ethan with great passion and vigor. A few weeks ago we were eating Mexican food and Ethan ended up eating half my enchilada and none of his cheese quesadilla. So the other day Sarah and I had the opportunity, thanks to her mom and dad staying with Micah, to take the older boys to eat at a Mexican restaurant. I told Ethan were were going to get him an enchilada, but Isaac insisted he still get a cheese quesadilla. As we were eating, Isaac looked at me and said, "Daddy? Why Ethan get a 'quesalada'?"

Ethan is currently in the habit of waking up each night to come crawl in our bed with whoever is at home that night. Both of the boys love jumping on the extra mattresses currently on the floor in Micah's room. Typically each night we go into Micah's room and play "football." It really isn't football, but that is what they call it. Here's the rules: Isaac, Ethan and I have to take off our shirts. Then, we run into each other and tackle. After that, they try to roll me off the mattresses onto the floor. When they do (as I pretend to be fighting to stay on), both of them with childlike laughter giggle and laugh as though I had told the funniest joke in all the world.

There is so much fun we have and so much enjoyment we receive from life. Children, especially ours, make life so interesting, fun and enjoyable. I often ache for Isaac and Ethan. Sure they aren't sick. They don't have to stay in the hospital. But the impact on them is almost as great as it is on Micah. Nevertheless, the Lord has graciously supplied for all of our and their needs. He has given them grace in the moment to deal with all the adversities and difficulties of this situation. Certainly there have been times when they cried for Sarah or me to stay home. At other times they have cried for Micah to come home. Still other times it has been used as a a manipulative weapon. For instance, when Ethan is being disciplined, he likes to tell you to "go to the hospital" so he gets off the hook.

I just wanted to take a day where Isaac and Ethan emerge from the shadows and get space where I write about what's going on with them. I know God has and is using this to grow and shape them even at a young age. I trust the Lord fully with the care of all our children. It still doesn't remove the heartache that comes when you observe the high cost they pay in all this.

So if I could ask for you to pray for them the next time you pray for Micah, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you to those of you who have made visits during these last three or more weeks. We know Duke isn't just on the way to where you are going. You have to make a special trip to come by here. While it may go without saying, we want to say it--Thank you!