The Silence of Heaven

"So when He heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was" (John 11:6).

Has heaven ever seemed to be painfully quiet while you were neck-deep in a painful or difficult situation? I read the account in John 11 and I immediately focus on the fact that Jesus Christ raised Lazarus from the dead. I am, for a moment, transported on the scene. I hear Christ instruct them to roll the stone away. I too gasp as do Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus. They seem to speak what is on my mind. "Lord, by now he stinks." Yep! I with you. But Jesus isn't deterred. And so the stone gets rolled away. By the way, praise God that wasn't the last stone that got rolled away.

So I stand with the crowd gathered to mourn. I watch with amazement as this "madman" speaks with power, authority and passion (for He had even wept over this man's death). But what happened next would make any old bag of bones shout. For when Jesus had prayed to the Father, He cried out, "Lazarus, come forth." At that instant, Lazarus, still donned in grave clothes about his hands and feet and head, came walking out of that tomb like a man who had just gotten up from an afternoon nap. Though too stunned to speak or move, my soul stands up and shouts. Now that's awesome. Question a man's miraculous birth, His lineage or His claims. Yet you cannot dispute there's something different about Him. And moments like these give evidence that His birth, His lineage and His claims are all true.

But hang on for a minute. Go back and read that familiar and powerful account from the human perspective. See it with the eyes you and I would have witnessed it had we been the family members. It isn't hard for Mary and Martha reveal it for us.

When Lazarus got sick, Mary and Martha had sent word to Jesus about their brother's illness. Women touched His garment and were instantly healed. Blind men cried out and Jesus stopped, touched them and gave them sight. But friends petition Him to come for their brother and His response in the immediate is...NOTHING! He doesn't go. He doesn't send a reply. Mary and Martha are broken, hurting, scared and desperate. Nevertheless, Jesus did not go. As a matter of fact, He deliberately waited another two days before going and by the time He arrived Lazarus had been dead four days.

My response is their response: "If you had only come earlier, my brother would not have died." Jesus had not come. Jesus had not sent word back to them. Jesus had intentionally delayed coming to them. Sometimes, even in my own difficult and desperate moments, Jesus seems to be painfully quiet. Maybe you know that as well. Is it that He doesn't care? Of course not. For Jesus wept upon arriving at the home of His friends. Is it that He doesn't have the power? Absolutely not. For He would reverse the effects of sin and death and bring Lazarus back to life. Is it that we haven't done something right or that He is punishing us for some sin? I don't think so. Certainly Lazarus, Mary and Martha were imperfect humans. Yet Jesus never chastises them for any sin. Instead, the answer appears to be right there in black and white (or red and white if your Bible highlights Jesus' words).

Jesus said to Martha, "Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" Shortly thereafter, Jesus gave thanks for the Father always hearing Him and allowing those around Him to see and believe. Then He called Lazarus back to life. Certainly it is painful when heaven is silent and Jesus doesn't seem to run to the rescue when we have sent word, through prayer, making our request known to Him. However, Lazarus' death and Jesus' intentional delay was all part of the incredible plan of God to bring the maximum amount of glory to His name.

In our present situation, this passage gives me comfort. To be brief but as thorough as necessary, Micah has been hospitalized three times beginning November 30 through January 4. The last hospitalization started December 17 and went through January 4. Spending three weeks in the hospital isn't ideal or pleasant even though we knew it was necessary. Spending Christmas in the hospital is even more difficult though it reminded me of the first Christmas. After all, Jesus was born in a barn. Being in a hospital is much better than where He got to spend His first night and first Christmas.

Throughout the three hospitalizations, numerous tests, scans and cultures have been conducted. Doctors believe Micah is battling EBV (Eppstein Bar Virus) and possibly a fungus. However, his fevers continue and he continues to feel bad which has left doctors and Sarah and me bewildered (for lack of a more appropriate word). Even after being discharged on January 4, Micah has been having fevers, not feeling well, sleeping well or eating well. The uncertainty is vast. The doctors are perplexed even to the point that Micah's transplant doctor (who has since moved to Dallas) was called in for consultation to get another mind and perspective on what might be wrong and what might need to be done.

Just about every fluid in his body has been tested, cultured, etc. There has been some fluid in his ears and sinus cavities that Dr. Desai, the transplant doctor, recommended should be tested. We were sent to Dr. Hulka at the Eyes, Ears, Nose and Throat Center of North Carolina this past week to have this cultured. The culture didn't reveal much. Therefore, it was recommended by the doctors that a more extensive culture be taken. So on Friday, yesterday, Micah had another surgical procedure. Dr. Hulka removed fluid from both his ears and his sinus cavities for cultures. At the same time, tubes were placed in Micah's ears to alleviate fluid pressure and potentially ward off any future infections since he has a suppressed immune system.

Numerous times throughout these last several weeks I have prayed for God's wisdom and knowledge to be given to doctors. On the other hand, I have prayed God miraculously intervene to the astonishment of all and to Him we will give the praise. Neither have come yet. I feel somewhat like Mary and Martha. The request and word has been sent up several times. I wait for a response. I pray that I am waiting as I should. Waiting in faith, waiting in full confidence of who God is and what He can do and waiting with the knowledge that He does all things well and for His glory.

So for those who have stumbled back by this blog (thank you for not giving up since it is difficult these days to update with so much going on), will you pray God gives wisdom to the doctors to know what is causing Micah to be so sick or to pray God simply touch Him and heal even if we never know what it was? Pray for strength. It's been a weary few weeks. But most of all, pray the Lord be magnified and glorified. He will be. I know this because He was when Lazarus walked out of that tomb!