10

This week marks a rather monumental accomplishment for my wife.  On May 31, Sarah will be able to say that she has survived being married to me for 10 years.  

It is very true that God doesn't show us the whole path ahead of us at one time either because He knows it would overwhelm us or because we would always be wasting today as we impatiently long for the things of tomorrow.  There is no way Sarah or I could have known 10 years ago the road ahead.  And don't expect that I can neatly and succinctly wrap it into this blog post.

Meeting and Marrying

Sarah and I met just over eleven years ago and began a relationship that quickly grew. It took far less time for me to know Sarah would be my wife than for Sarah to come to accept that I would be her husband.  We were both students at Southeastern Seminary in Wake Forest and both attending Wakefield Baptist Church that met in Wakefield High School.  Engaged in October of 2002, we married on May 31, 2003.  What I didn't realize when getting married was just how marriage would reveal my own selfishness, lack of holiness, and need to be shown and show grace.  But so began a wonderful process of God working His grace deep into my heart.

The Blessing of Children

We continued as students throughout the next year.  Since Sarah is by far the smarter of the two of us, she graduated the following May just in time for Isaac to be born just more than a month after we celebrated our first anniversary.  Lagging behind, I graduated in December of 2004 and began my first full-time ministry position (having served six years in part-time ministry). Life as three wouldn't last too long as Ethan arrived in October 2005 and Micah came right along in February 2007.  The Bible declares wonderful truth when God says children are a gift from Him and blessed are those whose quiver is full of these precious arrows.  Furthermore, a godly wife and a godly mother makes for a happy and beautiful home.

Dark Days

The dark days came with the revelation that Micah was born with a rare but serious liver disease. It is through these dark days I witnessed the immeasurable grace in Sarah's life and the strength she possesses, which often is unknown even to her.  Micah's liver disease led to his first surgery at 10 weeks old and a liver transplant at 7 months old, followed by 38+ weeks in the hospital the next years and a significant amount the following year.  I watched Sarah and my family walk through the uncertainty of life. There were days when doctors had no answers and when doctors cautioned that death was a real enemy standing at the door. 

I beheld the torn heart of a mother when her children were in two different places and yet all three needed her equally. As a man who wants to have a plan, fix the problem, and do it with perfection, I couldn't do anything to heal Micah, solve the problems we were facing, or help Sarah to not be faced with pain, suffering, and trials on a level that just are not common to most.

There have been major surgeries, chemotherapy, unknown illnesses, set backs and more across Micah's brief 6 years.  Even last September, we faced another major surgery that in the end did not produce what surgeons set out to accomplish.

Privileged to Serve

Amidst all of the craziness of life and trials, our family has also served in three different local church settings across the last ten years.  The most recent privilege we have has been starting a new work called Refuge Church.  Again, I've appreciated Sarah's support and encouragement as we followed what we knew God would have for us in serving Him to display and declare the good news of His kingdom.  

This hasn't been easy though.  It is never easy to leave friends or what your children have known.  It is never easy to step out in faith when you aren't sure how the math works, the bills get paid, or exactly how everything will look when you get there.  In all of this, Sarah has displayed grace and strength as we followed God's lead together.

An Imperfect Man in Need of Grace

Sarah married an imperfect man in desperate need of grace. I struggle often with the balance of being husband, father, pastor and, hopefully not for too much longer, a doctoral student. With perfectionist tendencies, there is always a struggle with whether the good is good enough.  Furthermore, over the last 10 years, God has exposed and begun working in some deep brokenness within my heart and life from past circumstances and sin.  Yet as I often say, Sarah is the expression of God's grace in my life.  In these areas and more, she shows the grace this imperfect man needs.

This week Sarah will celebrate having survived 10 years of marriage to an imperfect man and a marriage that's had multiple challenges.  Then again, what marriage doesn't face challenge? The problem isn't so much the challenges, but rather how we face and respond to those challenges.

This week Sarah deserves praise since she's had numerous reasons over 10 years to go insane yet she's still in her right mind. 

This week I celebrate the wife God has given as a gift of His grace. I celebrate how over 10 years He has displayed His glory and and goodness through many twists and turns. This week I celebrate our 10 year anniversary while pondering what the next 10 might hold.