Wrestling and Walking

"When he saw that he had not prevailed against him, he touched the socket of his thigh; so the socket of Jacob's thigh was dislocated while he wrestled with him" (Genesis 32:25).

Several, if not most, conservative scholars will point to this passage as a theophany. A theophany is a manifestation of God in the Bible which is tangible to the human senses. In other words, it is the visible appearance of God to man in the Old Testament, though not always in human form. While most translations refer to a man or Angel with whom Jacob wrestled, I believe it was God with whom Jacob wrestled. Even more than this, I believe what we see here may be more than a theophany. This is in my estimation a Christophany; an appearance of the second person of the Trinity, Jesus Christ, in a pre-incarnate state.

For sure, it is a theophany, for Jacob himself called that place Peniel which means face of God. So why spend so much time speaking about this? Because as I read through Genesis recently, this passage challenged me. And it continues to as God has once again returned it to my mind.

It was a dark night for Jacob. He was alone and afraid. The time period is that in which Jacob is returning to meet his brother Esau whom he stole the birthright out from under by deceiving their father. During that dark night in which Jacob spread his fears and himself out before the Lord, Jacob had a close encounter with God (or if you are persuaded as I am, with Jesus Christ). A struggled ensued. The two wrestled all night, even until daybreak. When the Angel of the Lord saw that He had not prevailed, He requested for Jacob to let Him go only after having touched Jacob's thigh dislocating the socket of the hip area. But Jacob refused to let go until the Angel blessed him. And thus he received a blessing and a name change.

While this passage contains so much, I specifically keyed in on two things. I first looked at how Jacob wrestled with God. His night was dark. His fears were great. His future was uncertain. So before the Lord He spread Himself out. He spent more than an hour...more than two...he spent the whole night. And God never reprimands this man for wrestling with Him. God is big and can handle it when we come and wrestle with Him concerning our present circumstances. I don't mean an irreverent approach or a caustic attitude. Rather, to come before the Lord and wrestle with Him as we struggle with our circumstances, hurts and problems which we do not understand.

There are still days I think I wrestle with God concerning Micah's health and situation. I'd like to be able to project a bit more of a super-spiritual front as though I have it altogether. Yet the frustration sometimes runs high. The uncertainty can take its toll. The bitterness bangs on the door wanting to come inside. Because God never intended that we should have to walk this road, I think He understands the struggle. Because the Lord made us perfect and desired that we should never sin but live in perfect harmony and peace with Him, I believe He expects there will be times we come and wrestle. But most of all, because Jesus Christ became flesh and blood walking this earth for 33 years, I know God understands. Matthew 26 may be the equivalent to Genesis 32.

Jesus had a dark night. Jesus had a night where the future to come was certain and it created great anguish in His soul. Three times He prayed that if possible the Father would allow the cup to pass from Him. Three times He prayed that the Father's will would be done. I believe in this scene we see the Son of God wrestling. He was wrestling, but He was fully obedient and submitted to His father.

I seek to do the same. Though I wrestle, I pray my heart is attune to my Lord and Savior and that I will be obedient to His will and submitted to His authority.

But I also see in Jacob that His wrestling changed Him. He faced a dark night. He faced a onslaught of fears. He faced a foggy future. He wrestled with the Lord and the Lord touched the thigh and dislocated the thigh from the socket of the hip. In spite of the difficult situation he faced, God did a work. He touched Jacob in the midst of his hard time and Jacob never walked the same again.

Let me take this beyond the physical to the spiritual. Recently I had a dear friend of mine come to speak with me following a worship service at our church. With tears flooding his eyes he said, "This isn't going to be wasted. God's going to use it for His glory." I pray that all of the tough times, the dark nights and the intimate moments of wrestling with God aren't wasted. I hope the Lord uses them for my good and His glory. I pray God touches my life, and the life of all my family, so that we walk different after having been through all of this.

I hope you, whoever you are and wherever you live and however you got to this blog, will by reading the account of our journey through this be touched by Jesus Christ to never walk the same again. That may mean you need to trust Him alone for salvation for the very first time. In doing so, He'll touch your life and you'll never walk the same again. Or maybe it means you need that touch of a Father to draw you near again as you have drifted away from Him. Even so, He can extend His loving hand to touch your heart to where you never walk the same again.

I may continue to wrestle with God, but I will continue to rest in confidence that He is in control regardless of what may come. As I journey along, I believe the Potter has His hands upon this old lump of clay molding my life such that I shall never walk in the same way in which I did before.

Micah is sleeping as I write. I guess he should be since it is almost midnight. But he has only been asleep for the last hour to hour and a half. He received some morphine for pain and he's finally calmed enough to sleep in peace. We still await the final pathology of the biopsies. Heaven only knows right now why it has taken so long. But hopefully tomorrow we shall know the results and better where to go from here.

Micah moved to a regular room from step-down two days ago. No word on when we'll go home or what the hope would be either. We have seen some small signs of improved health. He's smiled a few times. But clearly he has a little ways to go before getting back to his previous place of health and development.

Certainly we ask for your continued prayers. The road has been filled with twists and turns we didn't necessarily count on. Yet we know this, comparatively speaking, isn't as bad as it could be. So please continue to pray for our family; for Micah's restoration of health, God's wisdom and knowledge to be revealed to doctors and the Lord to be magnified in all things.