She Said Yes

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

Today is October 11. I don't write that because I think you are incapable of reading a calendar. I write that because it holds special meaning for me. Five years ago today, I bent down on one knee on the sand of the Atlantic Ocean in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina to propose to Sarah Anne Fulcher. Amazingly enough, she said yes!

While I might still wonder as to why she said yes, I am ever grateful to the Lord for joining Sarah and I together. As I often tell students and singles, the Lord knows where you are and He'll bring the right person in the right time. That was certainly true for me.

We live in a world where marriage has been marginalized and minimized. We live in a culture that has blurred the lines...or maybe even started erasing them. But the truth of God's word still remains. Heaven and earth shall pass away, but Jesus promised that His word will endure forever. The truth of God never fades, never changes and never lets you down. And God's word about marriage is clear.

I'm what most people call conservative, especially when it comes to marriage. Some may come me something different. But I believe marriage is a wonderful institution of the Lord created and designed for His glory and our eternal good. I believe marriage is intended to be One Man and One Woman for One Lifetime. I believe, just as the Bible teaches, that God has chosen marriage to be the picture of His relationship to His bride, the church (Ephesians 5). For that reason, Jesus Christ, the bridge-groom, shall never be unfaithful or put away His bride (the church; all believers). He'll never stop loving His bridge regardless of what she might do. Therefore, we ought to approach marriage not so much with a trial and error mentality, but a determination to stay together "for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part." Our marriages need a little more staying power.

As a minister, I get a lot of flack sometimes about that position. Partly, I'd have to say it could be due to the fact that our culture has changed the church more than the church has changed the culture. But please understand me, I believe there is grace and mercy when what I believe on this issue has not occurred. To those who divorced and remarried, I believe God gives mercy and grace and wants you to stay as you are. I just wish our churches showed through our marriages that we "have the answer" instead of just saying we do.

All that to say, I write on this day, October 11, about my wife. Throughout this whole trial and circumstance, I'd have to say the warrior and the backbone has been Sarah. She's daily been at the hospital. She not only had a son undergo major surgery, but she also had a husband do so. This occurred with two other children at home and a host of other issues swirling about her. She's cared for Micah's every need, making decisions in my absence, insuring he was being cared for by nurses and doctors as need be (and we've had some great medical staff).

I write a lot about the Scriptures and the truths presented there. This one is no different, but a little different take. Sarah has taught me a great deal about marriage. She's taught me immensely how to be a better dad, husband and minister. Constantly she is a source of encouragement, oftentimes encouraging me to see from a better vantage point. Her nonthreatening, sweet personality endears her hundreds and makes our home (and marriage) much sweeter. If ever we were Beauty and the Beast, I know what part I'd have to play.

Five years ago, we traveled to Myrtle Beach for the day. I had it all planned with para sailing, enjoying the beach, dinner at Broadway at the Beach, etc. We arrived to find a Tropical Storm was coming ashore. So we shopped. I guess it was good preparation for marriage. Just kidding! Then we had our dinner at the Key West Grille. Praise the Lord, the rain ended and I proposed on the beach. She said yes! Then we set off fireworks. I'm not sure it was legal, but it certainly demonstrated the excitement and joy in my heart.

It's been an incredible five years. But when she said yes, and we said "I do," it was intended to be "until death do us part." Unfortunately, most marriages seem to end because one or both parties just refuse to do what God has done for every believer: Forgive. If Sarah would have been unwilling to forgive me over these last five years for all the times I've made boneheaded and idiotic mistakes or said cross or callous words, then she'd have I guess plenty of reason to have packed it up a long time ago. But thanks be to God for His gift of forgiveness and Sarah's.

I write today about my wife because it is October 11 and five years ago she said yes. I also write about Sarah today because I once again saw in her the tender, compassionate heart that was there when we met. Micah was scheduled to come home again today. But for the third time, fever and white blood cell counts prevented this. Disappointed and discouraged, I saw a wife and mother struggle. There were tears I could not dry, hurt I could not heal and discouragement I could not erase. With Ethan's birthday coming on Sunday, the situation was compounded when the hope of being home to celebrate got dashed.

Micah continues to be a joy and joy-filled. It is believed that the switch from IV antibiotics to oral antibiotics was just to sufficient for the infection in his system. Right now there is uncertainty as to exactly what they will do from here. They restarted the IV antibiotics, but the surgeon will make a decision as to whether or not a central line will be placed once again. At this time, it looks as though he will remain at Duke through the weekend.

Of course we have prayed that the Lord would not allow him to come home before he should. But it is so hard to have the hope of going home only to never see it fulfilled. Yet we also realize that God has a reason and purpose for us remaining there at Duke. Maybe it is for Micah's health. Maybe it is to share Jesus with another patient, family, nurse or doctor. Maybe for reasons we'll never know. Even so, we submit ourselves to the timetable and authority of our Heavenly Father who does all things well.

Thank you for praying for our family. For men who may actually stop here long enough to read, be sure to love the wife the Lord gave you just like Jesus Christ loves you.