Crushing and Beautiful

I had just finished working out. My body was dripping with sweat and my legs were about to start a revolution against me so as to never have to work out again.

I grabbed my Gatorade and sat down in the floor, leaning back against our love seat.

The house was quiet.  Yes, abnormally quiet for a house that normally teeters on the brink of destruction with me and five sons for whom Sarah is our only saving grace.

But alas, she wasn't home and neither were any of the five little Indians. They had traveled for some time away to Virginia to visit family, allowing me some time to write.

My heart still deciding whether or not it wanted to keep beating after the workout I just did, my phone rang identifying the call coming from "Sarah Cell."

When I answered, the words she said would commence a second round of what would be, in the words of Charles Dickens, the best of times and the worst of times.

Sarah had received a phone call from Dave, who wears a number of hats but serves as the transplant coordinator for pediatrics at Duke University Medical Center. A donor liver had come available for Micah.

Micah had been placed on the waiting list in March, just about a month after Titus was born and a short 7 months after we had welcomed home our fourth son Malachi. Now, Micah would have a second transplant.

We like to keep things quiet and easy around our house if you didn't notice!

So began another crushing and beautiful journey. 

Crushing as the emotions came while thinking about the family who walked through death, though giving so someone may gain life. The complications that brought four additional emergency surgeries. Watching your 7 year old boy who had entered the hospital so healthy and vibrant struggle and endure what I'm not sure I could.

Beautiful as our family gathered and the family of Jesus prayed and supported. Beautiful to see how God wastes no ounce of suffering, but can use even the vilest of times and darkest of experiences to display His goodness and glory. The continual pruning work the Father does in my heart and life. But what an amazing day, after 60 days, when Micah walked out of the hospital with me to get into the car and go home.

It has been a year since that phone call. Tomorrow will be a year since the actual surgery.  God has, as always, been abundantly faithful and gracious beyond what we could ever deserve.

If you are reading this post, chances are you were part of that journey. So today I want to express deep gratitude on behalf of our whole family for your prayers, love, and encouragement during those days. Words cannot express what we would like to convey.

The Joy of Our Worship

Jesus made it pretty simple when He declared that it would be our love for one another that would signify to the world that we are His disciples. He said, "By this all the world will know you are my disciples because you love one another."

I think in like manner the world will know we are the disciples of Jesus Christ because of the joy in our worship that exists independent of circumstances in this life.

In studying and preaching through the Book of Nehemiah, there is one verse that has recently pierced my heart and lingered long on my mind. It has challenged me to examine whether my life of worship, as well as my gathering with other believers to worship, is marked by joy in the character of God and the great deeds of His hand.

The nation of Israel endured painful times as the city of Jerusalem was laid waste and the people were scattered throughout the ancient world. For 140 years the walls of Jerusalem were reduced to a pile of rubble. The gates remained charred from the fire set to them that left them ruined and unusable and of no value. Yet God used Nehemiah and the people and through them he empowered them to miraculously rebuild the city in 52 days.

It is no wonder that there was a great gathering of all the men, women, children, leaders, and officials to celebrate this and dedicate their lives and work to God. The verse that most strikes me from this account is this: "And they offered great sacrifices that day and rejoiced, for God had made them rejoice with great joy; the women and children also rejoiced. And the joy of Jerusalem was heard far away."

God has done more than rebuild my walls. He nailed His Son to the cross in my place to receive the punishment for my sin in order to rebuild a broken life. God has done more than restore me to the place of my ancestors. He through the resurrection of Christ has given me a life that restores me to the relationship and life I was made to have with and in Him.

If anyone should be able to say that "God has made them rejoice," it should be the followers of Jesus Christ who understand the gospel. The gospel isn't do better or try harder. The gospel is the message of good news that I am a wrecked man without hope whom God has lavished His grace, mercy, and compassion to make me what I could never be on my own.

All of this great work flows from the great heart and character of God. And He is to be worshipped and that worship is to be done with great joy and that worship of great joy should be a witness to the nations to the glory of God and His great name.

The worship of God's people should be a compelling witness to the world. The joy of their worship was heard far away that day. There's no record of what impact that witness of their worship may have had. But we do know that Rahab reported to the spies in the Book of Joshua how she had heard of their God and the mighty deeds He had done. What she had heard from far away led her to believe and follow God!

Does the world want to know our God because of the joy of our worship and the great God of whom our worship speaks?